Posts Tagged With: dogs

Ready for a baby?

I’m at the age now where all of my friends are getting married, buying houses, having kids and planning out their 401K. Meanwhile, I’m relaxing on the couch with a bottle (c’mon who really just drinks a glass?) of wine wondering if I’m mature enough to get a puppy. As the responsible adult I am, I’ve come up with a list of pros and cons to assist in my decision.

PRO: They’re cute!

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Seriously so adorable!

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CON: They’re a bit crazy though. It’s time to sit on the couch and watch some television. Seriously….what are you doing?

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PRO: They’re so lovable!

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CON: They’re so lovable. Seriously, stop licking me. Please?

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PRO: They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I beg to differ, young or old, my dog will do all kinds of cool shit.

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CON: Realistically speaking the whole teaching my dog tricks thing is a pipe dream. This will most likely be the extent of my dog’s activities.

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PRO: Doing fun and silly stuff together while enjoying some wine! Just look at how much fun he’s having!

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I’m really picturing one of those moments in the movies where the character looks back on their life while some sappy song narrates the flashback and reflects on their greatest moments. This is part of that scene. There’s also a scene where we’re running on the beach (hand to leash) enjoying a beautiful sunny day while I try to teach him how to catch a frisbee when in reality he gives up after 5 minutes to lay on the beach because he’s a lazy ass.

Anyways, moving on…

CON: Forgetting about the silly stuff I started doing after consuming a bottle of wine. Of course that’s only until I wake up the next morning to go to the bathroom. The silver lining though is at least there wouldn’t have been any accidents around the house. Poor guy though, he probably has a cramp or something. Mama loves you!

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PRO: Dogs are super smart. Look at him swat away the arm of that baby saying “No. That cookie is mine kid. Ya better recognize before I knock your ass out.”

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CON: Similar to buying a new car, there’s always a lemon in the group.

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You never know what you’re going to end up with!

PRO: They’re always willing to cuddle with you on the couch.

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CON: They might not realize when they’re no longer welcome on the couch.

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“If I was a real child this would be considered abuse. I’m very uncomfortable right now.”

PRO CON: A dog can provide a sense of security around the house. In some cases they can even act as a deterrent to unwanted guests. However, I’m quite keen on the pug breed and unfortunately I’m just not sure they can offer the kind of protection that is considered a trait in a “guard dog”.

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I’m just not sensing the fear. I could be wrong though.

So am I responsible enough for a pseudo child? I mean they’re quite similar, puppies are going to cry, have accidents, need to be fed and want to be played with. Let’s be real, for all intents and purposes a puppy is a baby you adopt except you can leave them in a crate while you’re at the office working and won’t get arrested for leaving them home alone one night to go out drinking if you can’t find a babysitter.

I just don’t know.

Maybe I’ll get a fish. Baby steps.

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You in the Dog House?

By now many of us have heard about the fall of Aaron Hernandez, the former star tight end for the New England Patriots. Earlier this week, Hernandez was arrested at his home and charged with murder. Almost immediately following this news, he was released from the Patriots roster and what was once almost a guarantee of a long and highly successful career in the NFL turned to one of just wasted talent in the matter of days.

So why would someone with so much promise, do something so horrific? I don’t know and most of us will never know, let alone understand how he could “allegedly” take another human being’s life. To make matters worse, as the investigation continues, the troubles keep mounting for Hernandez as he was also “allegedly” involved in a drive-by shooting last July in Boston which left two people dead.

Not to undermine the severity and sadness of what has taken place for all involved but that is not the focus of this post. My focus, however, is what I found after reading the news on this and what has been revealed when the police searched his home this week.

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Nice house huh? I thought so too but look a little closer. Yes, that’s a person walking towards the home and he is almost as tall as the roof of the house.

Is that guy just really tall?

No, that’s Aaron Hernandez’s DOG HOUSE. Yes, that’s a dog house and I could probably live comfortably inside that home….even with the dog. This made the news with the investigation and made me wonder about people with money and what other lavish homes could be purchased for our loyal companions.

And without further delay….here are my top 3.2_452

1. Here we have a beautiful two-story gated home complete with an upper balcony for Paris Hilton’s little pup.

hiltondoggiemansionThe “dog house” includes a living room and bedroom complete with a closet to hold all the designer clothing to dress them in. Oh did I forget to mention there’s also heat, air conditioning, designer furniture and a chrystal chandelier? This could be yours for a cool $325,000. Come on guys, your pup’s worth it right?

2. Next on the list we have a beautiful country style home with a mixture of vinyl siding and stone along with a spacious farmer’s porch made of cedar wood. The front porch provides your faithful companion with abundant sunshine while also giving them a place to cool off with an inground bone-shaped pool to jump in when the sunbathing gets to be a little too much.

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3. And finally we have this adorable little townhouse in the city. This lovely two-story brick home keeps these wrinkly faced dogs safe at night. Once again, air conditioning and heat are a given in this abode. It’s a bit smaller than the others but as real estate brokers say…..it’s all about location, location, location. 17eff30d2f4267dad88f3258447bf16aIf you want to live in the city, you’ve got to give up your backyards and pools but remember, the nearest pet store and doggie daycare is probably less than a block away.

While I have hit on many topics during this post I’d like to end with this final thought….

I have concluded that there are many dogs out there that live better than I do. As some people say, the proof is in the pudding? Anyways, their own personal homes feature pools, balconies, and upscale furniture…which my house does not.

I gotta be doing something wrong here.

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