Posts Tagged With: adult

To be adult or not to be….that is the question.

I’m an adult.

Priorities are important.

When you’re a responsible adult you need to keep track of things like work, appointments, bills, weddings/bridal showers/baby showers, the semi-annual sale at Victoria’s Secret, the season premiere of your favorite TV show, what night you’re going out for drinks, your weekly trip to the store to stock up on wine, the amount of vacation time you have left for work and the list goes on and on. Needless to say, it’s almost impossible to keep track of everything you might have going on and sometimes you’ll end up unintentionally “double-booked”. At this point you’ve got to make the tough decision as to what you should do and may have to sacrifice the fun for the obligations you have as a result of being an adult and doing adult things….like owning a condo.

This brings me to the present…

So I arrive home earlier this evening and am walking to the front door when all of a sudden I hear my name being called and a couple of neighbors walking my way. Of course one of them is the president of the condo association who usually wants to discuss association business at the most inopportune of times. I try to be as polite as possible and listen to what he has to say but to be completely honest, I’m really not all that interested.

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As they’re approaching closer and closer to me, I’m racking my brain for something to make the conversation end quickly. I’m thinking ‘I need to wash my hair’ isn’t going to work at this moment but ‘I need to drop the kids off’ might. Anyways after exchanging pleasantries with each other, I’m asked if I’ll be attending the annual condo association meeting to discuss the happenings of the land and elect a new cabinet of executives to lead us into battle.

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Damn it! Usually my Outlook calendar is pretty reliable in reminding me of what I’ve got going on but it must have forgot to inform me of this event. It certainly didn’t fail to notify me of my fantasy football draft that I have later this evening. Either that or I just forgot to enter it into my calendar?

Nah….that couldn’t be it.

Anyways, I had to make a split second decision as to whether I would do the responsible thing and leave to attend the association meeting or if I would continue making my way inside to prepare for my fantasy draft that comes but once a year. It’s like Christmas if we’re being real here.

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My thought process immediately went to the Pros and Cons of attending this meeting….

The last meeting I attended lasted almost 3 hours and there wasn’t even a vote for anything.
SO. BORING.

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What if I have to go to the bathroom?

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What if I’m thirsty?

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What if they ask me my opinion on something and I say the wrong thing?

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I’ll have to vote for a new President. How do I know who is worthy of such an honor? I mean I haven’t seen any ads promoting who’s running for what and I certainly haven’t heard any of the campaign speeches with promises of a Mimosa bar on Sunday’s in the lobby or beer pong tournaments the first Friday of each month. How am I supposed to make an educated decision with so little information?

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Those thoughts flashed through my mind as I realized I really need to be responsible and do the right thing though. I knew I should skip my fantasy football draft and leave my 2014 roster in the hands of the Fantasy Gods otherwise known as the Autodraft option. As much as I didn’t want to attend the condo association meeting, I knew I really should. I’m a homeowner. My decision was made.

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Later that evening:

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Yeah….I said I should be responsible, I didn’t say I would be! Dude my fantasy team is going to kick ass this year! Wooooooo!!!!

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Ready for a baby?

I’m at the age now where all of my friends are getting married, buying houses, having kids and planning out their 401K. Meanwhile, I’m relaxing on the couch with a bottle (c’mon who really just drinks a glass?) of wine wondering if I’m mature enough to get a puppy. As the responsible adult I am, I’ve come up with a list of pros and cons to assist in my decision.

PRO: They’re cute!

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Seriously so adorable!

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CON: They’re a bit crazy though. It’s time to sit on the couch and watch some television. Seriously….what are you doing?

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PRO: They’re so lovable!

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CON: They’re so lovable. Seriously, stop licking me. Please?

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PRO: They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I beg to differ, young or old, my dog will do all kinds of cool shit.

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CON: Realistically speaking the whole teaching my dog tricks thing is a pipe dream. This will most likely be the extent of my dog’s activities.

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PRO: Doing fun and silly stuff together while enjoying some wine! Just look at how much fun he’s having!

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I’m really picturing one of those moments in the movies where the character looks back on their life while some sappy song narrates the flashback and reflects on their greatest moments. This is part of that scene. There’s also a scene where we’re running on the beach (hand to leash) enjoying a beautiful sunny day while I try to teach him how to catch a frisbee when in reality he gives up after 5 minutes to lay on the beach because he’s a lazy ass.

Anyways, moving on…

CON: Forgetting about the silly stuff I started doing after consuming a bottle of wine. Of course that’s only until I wake up the next morning to go to the bathroom. The silver lining though is at least there wouldn’t have been any accidents around the house. Poor guy though, he probably has a cramp or something. Mama loves you!

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PRO: Dogs are super smart. Look at him swat away the arm of that baby saying “No. That cookie is mine kid. Ya better recognize before I knock your ass out.”

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CON: Similar to buying a new car, there’s always a lemon in the group.

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You never know what you’re going to end up with!

PRO: They’re always willing to cuddle with you on the couch.

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CON: They might not realize when they’re no longer welcome on the couch.

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“If I was a real child this would be considered abuse. I’m very uncomfortable right now.”

PRO CON: A dog can provide a sense of security around the house. In some cases they can even act as a deterrent to unwanted guests. However, I’m quite keen on the pug breed and unfortunately I’m just not sure they can offer the kind of protection that is considered a trait in a “guard dog”.

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I’m just not sensing the fear. I could be wrong though.

So am I responsible enough for a pseudo child? I mean they’re quite similar, puppies are going to cry, have accidents, need to be fed and want to be played with. Let’s be real, for all intents and purposes a puppy is a baby you adopt except you can leave them in a crate while you’re at the office working and won’t get arrested for leaving them home alone one night to go out drinking if you can’t find a babysitter.

I just don’t know.

Maybe I’ll get a fish. Baby steps.

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The Adult Snow Day

As a kid, or even young adult, I took far too many things for granted that I have now come to miss greatly. For instance, as a student in school we were gifted with the occasional day off thanks to Mother Nature. You don’t realize this then but when you grown up and join the land of the working, your employer doesn’t actually give you the day off because a foot of snow is expected to fall and reek havoc on the day’s commute. You actually still have to work. I know right? I was a bit surprised too. Thankfully though, and I do consider myself fortunate to have this option, I’m allowed to work from home if need be…

…Thus providing me with the “Adult Snow Day”. What is this you ask? Well it means I’m still required to work, however, I can do it from the comforts of home!

ADULT SNOW DAY PERKS:

1. Sleeping in later than usual since there’s no bumper to bumper traffic or insanely long lines at the local coffee shop drive-thru to deal with!

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2.  No. Morning. Commute.

3.  Put “real” pants on? If I manage to make it to the shower I’m surprised. Pfft pants…

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4.  Don’t judge. I swear I work better with a few in me. Plus…why not?

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5.  Catching up on chores around the house is always an added bonus.

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6.  You can say whatever you want want without having to worry about offending anyone at the office.

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7.  You can also do whatever you want without having to worry about offending anyone at the office.

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8.  And finally, you can watch trash TV, I mean daytime talk shows, while kicking the mouse around every so often to keep your laptop from “falling asleep”.

With up to a foot of snow expected tomorrow, I’ll be partaking in the Adult Snow Day! And don’t forget to stock up on essentials in case you’re homebound for a day or two. You don’t want to be wishing you had hit the grocery store while you’re snowed in…trust me.

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Friday night….time to get crazy.

Ahh Friday at 5pm…what a beautiful beast you are for us nine-to-fivers.

It’s the weekend! So obviously there’s a few things I want to do tonight and I’m hoping it doesn’t get too crazy. I need to change my sheets, fold the mountain of laundry in the spare bedroom that continues to grow every time I wash another load and also take out the trash. Oh and if I have some time, I’ll catch up on the Dexter DVD from Netflix that’s been sitting on my coffee table for the past month and a half. Oh and check the mail. I NEED to check my mail.

Wait it’s Friday, when the hell did I turn 80?

Oh well, first things first. Time for a glass of wine.

5:29pm – First sip….yummy.

5:33pm – Let’s knock some stuff off my to-do list for the evening. Dexter Season 7 Episode 1. Who’s up next on your kill table Dex?

Sometimes I sit at my desk at work and think about this as co-workers talk to me.

6:28pm – One more episode of Dexter and then it’s on to something else productive. Let’s fill up the wine glass again though. Don’t judge me.

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Assholes.

6:55pm – I find myself sympathizing with Dexter the ‘serial killer’ and oddly attracted to him. Is that weird? Probably. But’s he’s cute! In a strange way. Whatevs.

PAUSE!

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7:23pm – Screw it there’s one more episode on this DVD. It would be wrong to stop now.

8:22pm – Chore #1 COMPLETE. Dexter’s been checked off the list. I feel pretty accomplished right now. Now would be the time to walk out to the mailbox and put that DVD in while retrieving the mail I haven’t checked in about 5 weeks. And doing that in 5, 4, 3, 2, let’s save that for the morning.

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8:30pm – While I heat up some food I’ll knock something else off the list. Chore #2 COMPLETE! I took out the trash.

8:41pm – OMG I’m so hungry.

9:02pm – Mother f*cker! I forgot to take out the pizza boxes with the trash. Remind me to add that to tomorrow’s list. I was hoping to be able to relax but now I’ve already got shit to do.

9:09pm – Where the hell is the rest of my wine? Must be a damn hole in the bottle. This is bullshit.

10:18pm – I’m watching a Christmas movie on Lifetime. Dear God what has happened to me…it’s a Friday night, never mind the fact we haven’t even hit Thanksgiving yet. I remember the days when it was all shots of patrone and dancing on top of bars and now here I am…

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My To-Do list for tomorrow:

– Take out the pizza boxes.
– Fold the mountain of laundry that I may or may not get to tonight.
– Get my mail.
– Stock up on wine.
– Call mom to say hi.
– Go grocery shopping.

It’s like there’s no end to responsibility when you’re an adult.

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11:32pm – I am completely wrapped up in this Lifetime movie. That chick should win an Oscar for her performance!

Agreed…I should go to bed now. Goodnight.

WTF!…I need to put sheets on my bed cus I tore them off earlier in an effort to make myself go to sleep in a clean bed.

shit shit shit

Ugh Chore #3 to be completed ASAP.

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