Legally Blind

I went to the local eyeglass store today (we’ll call it LensMakers*) for a new pair of glasses. I know you never would have guessed what I was doing there if I didn’t tell you.

Anyways, my current pair of glasses are circa 1997 or something and have not been considered “street legal” in who knows how long. As I always wear contacts I haven’t felt the need to replace them but I’m now finding it to be more and more difficult to do the simplest of tasks when wearing them. Maybe it’s the aging process or just me maturing and realizing I should really have some sort of suitable backup should I not be able to wear my contacts. Either way watching television, trying to read the fortune out of my fortune cookie or even not walking into a wall has become like a daily quest to conquer in a game of World of Warcraft.


And that’s how I find myself at the local LensMakers* this afternoon with my work wife in tow. Shoutout to Kandi* for putting up with me. I should bake her a cake or something.

So I walk over to the women’s section and immediately enter crisis mode in my head after taking a look in front of me. Thoughts quickly translate into the words “Kandi*, I can’t afford Prada or Gucci!” Of course she then directs me down the line to something I don’t need to sacrifice this month’s pay on. Let’s be real, no one would believe I’m wearing Dolce & Gabbana anyways so I make my way over to something more affordable in an effort to save some money for bills and things like that.

I tried a few pairs on and thank the lord Kandi* was there to give a second opinion.

I picked a pair rather quickly and things were going really well. Everyone was very helpful there and Kandi’s* cousin even gave me a 50% off coupon! Totally should have gone for the high roller ones at that point…

Now it’s time to pick the lenses.

“So would you like the regular lenses or we have some nice thinner ones that we offer in-house and won’t have to send out to have made?” They were a bit more expensive but I can have them in an hour and they won’t be as thick as a coke bottle! She had a smile on her face like she’s never been told that they couldn’t provide this to a customer when all of a sudden one of the the technician’s came up to the desk. He politely let us know that they wouldn’t be able to fill my lens prescription in the store and would actually have to have it done elsewhere. Apparently my eyes are baaaaad.

I felt as though my credit card was declined at a fancy dinner and I was now being judged by the maître d’ of the restaurant.

Needless to say my glasses will arrive in approximately 10 business days and they’ll be ready to go. I may be as blind as someone trying to pimp their shades in the dead of night but hey according to Kandi* I’m gonna look goooood.


*Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Or guilty. Your guess is as good as mine.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Legally Blind

  1. Tara

    Fantastic read!

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