It’s GO Time

Let’s talk about boxes.

I know random topic but hear me out.

Some boxes are small and some are big. Some are rectangular while others are square. Some are new and have to assemble yourself whereas others look as though they’ve been dropped out of a moving truck and kicked around the block a time or two. Regardless of the box though, they can be used for all kinds of things.

A few examples:

The MOVING box(es) you haul inside your new place swearing that you won’t do anything else until they’re all unpacked and everything’s cleaned up. Haha ya right, I need to update my blog people. No time to waste unpacking.

The STORAGE box(es) that for some people originally began as moving boxes and eventually turned into storage boxes after 3 years of never having unpacked them. They actually make very nice shelves in addition to storage now.

The FRAGILE box that contains the expensive wedding china that’s been in your family for decades which you’re passing on to your newly married daughter that lives out of state. There’s no reason to worry that it will be damaged en route. It’s in the hands of the Postal Service!

The MYSTERY box is one you unexpectedly find somewhere in your house and just scratch your head thinking…Great, what the hell is in here? It says “may be awesome” which could mean it’s full of porn and gummy bears but with my luck it’s probably old tupperware and sheets now covered in mouse droppings. That “warning” label is just throwing me off. Why would I warn myself if the contents were awesome? I’m highly skeptical at the moment.


The DICK IN THE box that you can give as a Christmas gift to that special someone. Seriously…who doesn’t want that?

And finally we have…

The GO box. Not to be confused with the TO GO box (pictured on the right).

What is THE GO BOX you ask? The Go Box is the box you prepare ahead of time and keep at your place of employment. It should be kept readily available to grab and fill at a moments notice. You have to be able to grab it and sweep everything off your desk that you would miss if you had to leave behind. It’s helpful to keep all things that you care about in a close knit area of your workspace as there’s really no time to waste.

DISCLAIMER:  This box is strictly for emergency use only…meaning it’s to use in those situations where you find yourself in need of a quick getaway. This is not to be taken lightly and cannot just be pulled out to dump stuff in on a weekly basis when you feel like having a temper tantrum. This is far too significant to be used because you still can’t understand why Tequila Tuesday after 3pm at the office has not been implemented. Trust me, I love to down Patrone as much as the next guy but you have to pick your battles folks.

So what kind of situation would this “GO Box” be valuable?

EXAMPLE 1:  You come back to your cube after lunch and find this on your whiteboard.

After which you accidentally find yourself in your boss’s office…

And when you run out of their office continuing to chant “Suck it bitch” down the hall, it helps to be able to grab your GO BOX quickly as you’ll most likely be escorted out of the building and won’t have the opportunity to pack up all your belongings from your desk.

EXAMPLE 2: You have had it up to here with the company, your boss, your co-workers and the plant at the end of the hallway.

You. Are. Done. Again, the GO BOX comes in handy.

I’m not sure if everyone is aware of The GO Box or if it’s just something I came up with after the Great Freakout of June 2013 but either way I feel the need to inform you all. This could be a new phenomenon and if it isn’t already then don’t be left out kids, life’s too short.

PS…You may be wondering what The GO Box looks like? It looks like anything you want it to be. My preference is the large FedEx type box as it’s not too big but not too small either. Also, it has that peel off sticker part for easy closure.  Just throw your crap in, close it up and run like the wind. Or Forrest. Yes, run like Forrest. What? You never know if the cops are far behind.

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