The 4th of July is a time to celebrate our Nation’s independence and show our love and devotion to the United States of America.
We all had our own ways to go about this celebration…some celebrations lasted just the day and others stretched it out a bit longer. In my case, I felt the need to celebrate from Wednesday afternoon through Saturday night. I like to think I’m still a youngin’ and can handle 4 straight days of sun, booze and staying up until the wee hours of the morning.
The following timeline is based on a true story of a 30-something year old partying like a rockstar (or at least trying to) while coming to grips with the fact she may be getting a tad bit older whether she wants to realize it or not.
Okay, the story’s about me. Anyways, have I now become the older person trying to keep up with the new generation of kids taking over our turf?? Stay tuned to find out.
I shall now tell the story of my journey through the 4th of July extended weekend.
(Story told in 4 chapters)
Wednesday – July 3, 2013
3:00pm – Out of work for the next 4 days! I’m heading to my parents lake house for the rest of the week and meeting up with some friends.
4:00pm – The first alcoholic drink of the day. Pre-gaming before the real fun starts!
5:30pm – We’re professionals so we know it’s good to get something in our stomachs before a night of drinking. However, we want to be packed up and out of the house by 6pm to head to the lake so there’s no time to waste eating dinner.
7:00pm – We have arrived and it’s time to head out on the boat for a nice relaxing cruise. It’s a beautiful night to enjoy some time with friends. Let’s make sure we have everything.
Coolers full of water? Haha not on this ride.
Coolers full of beer? YEP!
Food? Had those chicken wings earlier, we’re all set! We gotta leave plenty of room for drinks of course.
Life Jackets? Who knows.
Cell phone? Don’t need it, people should know where the party’s at.
815pm – Shots shots shots shots shots shotsshots shots shots shots shotsshots shots shots shots shots everybody!
10:28pm – Those shots were a great idea, we’re ready now for the next stop. We’re riding along to find the party but we don’t know exactly where it is so at this point you kind of just look for a bunch of lights, people and fireworks.
“Oh I hear people! And they’re lighting off fireworks! That’s gotta be it.”
Now some people like to fly under the radar when showing up somewhere but no, not us. When you cruise up to a camp on the lake you need to make an appropriate entrance to let everyone know you’ve arrived. That’s why when we found our destination we turned up the volume and blasted out the National Anthem while standing up, raising our drinks and of course screaming along to the song while flashing the lights on the boat. Yes, we know we’re cool.
The only problem was when we pulled up to the dock we realized everyone outside had stopped talking and was now just looking at us wondering who the hell we were.
“We’re here for the party!”
“Oh, no party here?”
“Ok, don’t mind us, have a nice evening!” Back up the boat, back it up!
Ya, we had the wrong camp. Oops. Alright let’s try this again. We’re back in the middle of the cove and hear lots of cheering and plenty of obscenities…that is definitely our group of friends. Que up the National Anthem, we’re coming in hot!
11:03pm – We’ve arrived! There’s music blasting, drunk people everywhere, plenty of booze AND fireworks.
Now as we all know it’s probably not the best idea to combine alcohol and explosives but ya know….it’s the 4th of July! Seriously though, what could go wrong?
Sadly that actually happened. Not good not good! BUT after a few days of wearing a patch and resting the eye, he’s going to be okay. Be careful with fireworks kids!
2:38am – We just docked the boat, I’m hammered! And I NEED FOOD. Guys seriously…
3:05am – Mmmm cheeseburger.
“Guyz hey is dis ok? Is looks red? Is it cooked?”
“Ya ya, you be fine. Ya that look gooooooood. mmmmmmmmmmmm”
“Uhkay if you sayz so”
I will regret eating that in the morning.
3:22am – Too drunk to get home and no cabs are answering. I got my water and this couch is as good as it’s gonna get tonight.
To Be Continued…