A Morning in the Life of a Nine to Fiver.

We’ve all got our usual routine in the morning that involves everything from waking up to your screaming alarm clock to the drive in to the office and everything in between. Most of us have to accomplish the same things in the morning which include getting up, getting ready and going to work. However we all seem to reach the end result differently.

I now present to you a glimpse into my mornings on a typical work week…

6:00am – Alarm goes off.

2013-06-29 18.27.28

7:35(ish)am- I open my eyes, look at the time and realize ‘oh shit’ i didn’t even know I’ve been hitting snooze. This literally happens every day and every day this is my face.

late-for-work

8:25am – I’m ready and outta here.

8:27am – I need a coffee. I’m already late for work so why not?

2827317998

Of course when you’re late the line is always completely ridonkulous. At this point in time most responsible adults stop and ask themselves ‘Do I want to be even more late for work than I already am? I mean this line is really long.’

As i said most people think that way, but not me. No, I actually like to think of others in situations like these and I know that me not having my morning coffee is not a good thing for anyone in my office. Therefore I proceed to wait in the obscenely long drive-thru line.

8:35am – Got my coffee and I’m hittin’ the turnpike now. Should be at work in under 15. Ohhh ya.

102_0040

Just kidding. Of course, there’s something slowing down the drive to work.

I have an issue with the closed lane at times. I understand work needs to be done on the roads but I’ll be cruising down the one open lane going about 20mph because people get nervous while dodging the orange cones and I expect there to be some sort of activity happening to justify the increase in traffic congestion. Half of the time what do I see though? NOTHING. Just a lonely open lane that is begging for company.

It’s at these moments I imagine myself in a game of Grand Theft Auto and I swiftly maneuver my car to the other lane and put the pedal to the floor and go. In my daydream as I fly past everyone outrunning the cops, people just stop their cars, get out and cheer because I’m that awesome.

Sadly though I’m brough back to reality and going about 22mph in that one open lane…with no cops in pursuit.

8:39am – Alright both lanes open, time to cruise….

all-you-fuckers-gonna-be-late

…..or so you think.

Why am I gonna be late now? Besides the fact that I don’t get up on time in the morning.

6215139162_3a536fe044_z

Oh.

8:47am – This is bullshit.

8:53am – I keep hearing the sirens of police cars, fire trucks and ambulances trying to weave their way through this traffic to get to the accident. Okay, this must be a big accident, I just hope everyone involved is okay. I wonder how many cars are involved for this many emergency vehicles to be called to the scene?

hugepileup

9:19am – The cars are crawling along and we’re getting closer to the actual incident. The tension is mounting with anticipation of what has occurred this morning to hold up the morning commute and as I find myself headed down the one open lane again (this time due to the accident) I turn my head to view the gruesome scene.

stockxpertcom_id5810171_size0

WTF people! Seriously?? Pay attention to the damn road!! Some of us have a job to be at! What the hell was the problem???

Honey-Boo-Boo-jennifer-lawrence-32810859-245-190

Aye aye aye.

9:28am – I’ve arrived to work. I’m less than an hour late…not too shabby. But what’s the good part of this morning?

Advertisements
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Post navigation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: